Belongs in the bin

My mum handed me my first ever brush.To scrub my clothes. It feels like i'm an adult already. My own brush! :P yea, that's pathetic, I know. Maybe I should learn how to scrub first...
I'll MISS my friends. Haha. Didn't think I'd actually use that word. After SPM, I thought, well, I didn't feel anything. When people were busy taking photos, giving momentos, hugging and crying and everything, I just stood there. I actually felt they're making a mountain out of a molehill. I mean, those things happen all the time right? It was one of the times when I'd have laughed if I saw someone crying her or his heart out. When nothing could see or feel through me. A COLD me. The me that I HATE. But it was also the me who's too stubborn to accept anything. Finality. Maybe it's too hard to deal with. After all, ignorance is easier right?
It's weird, that what we know and what we're trying to acknowledge are two very different things. I guess that's why we do things we never meant to. That's why we talk the talk but don't walk the walk. Why we're hypocrites. Just because you know something, doesn't mean it's registered in your brain. Just because you've done that mistake before, doesn't mean you'll never do it again. Maybe that's why I don't believe in second chances. And that's plain stupid. Because if I srew something up, I'd like to be given the chance to start all over again. I know that's what I'd want. So why can't I give what people want?
Because I'm not other people. I'm not them. And I will never be.