One Two Three

8 ounce of butter
275 g of cornflake
200 g of cornflour
Half a glass of sugar
1 chicken egg

Oh, what the hell. I couldn't remember them all. Not that I want to. So today I woke up at 8 am. Because the alarm rang :P Then spend the morning writing in my diary. Until around 10.30 am. After that I baked since everyone in my room promised to bring homemade stuff after cny hols *roll eyes* what's wrong with stuff from supermarket? I bet they
taste better. Haha.
Okay, so let me tell you how to make those:
Pour everything in a bowl and just mixed them and put them in the oven to baked.
Sounds easy enough? That's the short version.
The long one? Here goes:
I sat in front of my mum's cupboard, just staring at all her recipe books. She has like 10 million of them, sheesh. So I just grabbed the nearest one and browsed through it. Until I found the cornflake biscuit which looked easy enough.The recipe was short so I thought it wouldn't take long. Went to the kitchen and started racking through stuff. I was looking for cornflour. Took one jar, and put it down. Took another one, and put it down again. Then my maid walked in.
"What are you looking for?"
"Cornflour,"
"Isn't that 'tepung jagung'?"
"I know. But how does it look like?"
Then she opened the cupboard next to me and handed me a small box. Oh.
Everything else went fine until the mixer part. FYI, 'fine' includes spilling sugar and butter on the table and floor. But NOTHING broke.Ha!
Where was I? Aha, the mixer. I had no idea how to use it. I mean, sure, I've seen my mum used it a lot of times before but I've never used it myself. And so my maid came to the rescue once again. Then I grumbled because the butter was hard as rock. How was I supposed to mix it? Then my sister went to check on me.
"You didn't defrost the butter beforehand?"
"No. Was I supposed to?"
"How dumb can you be?"
Blehhhhhhhhh.
Those biscuits took me until 12.30 pm. At least they turned out okay. They tasted kindda nice actually :P 3rd attempt of baking, SUCCEEDED.

A Glance Into The Past

If I were given the CHANCE, would I go through everything again?
The boredom I'd felt during school in nearly every subject. The burden of having to carry out my duties. The tiredness of having to go to tuition nearly everyday. The stress during exams. The difficulties on deciding whether to go to ko-op or canteen. Walking around the school without any purpose, peeking to see if the teacher was already on her or his way to class. Tears and smiles.
I want to remember all those.
Yet, even now. Even when I try hard not to forget, I couldn't remember. I forgot how it feels walking to the lab. I forgot how humid it was in the class. I've forgotten the feelings. Just pictures and colours. Most people have moved on. And I want to as well. But sometimes, I feel like I'm still holding on to the past. Living in my memories. One of the things I LIKE about ns, is because it makes me feel safe. As long as I'm there, I don't have to deal with the real world. I don't have to worry about MY RESULTS, MY FUTURE, MY LIFE. Even after all this while, I'm still scared. Scared of taking risks, scared of being let down. For in everything I put my faith in, the flaw is still there.
The harder I try hiding my feelings, the harder everything seems to be. But no matter what, I find it hard to share. All this while, I've been too dependent on things. When my friends expected me not to cry in ns, I did. When I thought the adjustment period would only take a week, it took two. When before this, I never thought of the past, now it lingers in my mind every single day. And those suck.
But now, it's time to let go. Cherish the old memories. And never be too afraid to build new ones. Hard, and yet? That's what I must do. Because all this while, there's one thing I've LOST. And I must find it again. My own strength.

Moments

I'm home :)
For another 5 days that is. But then, even 2 hours away from national service is SATISFYING enough.
Have i changed so far? Haha. Hell yea :P But maybe that's for the better.
I know how to wash my own clothes now.And somehow, i enjoy scrubbing. No idea why. But my hands would ache after that. Most of them complained about having to wash their clothes by hand. I didn't. Because i don't
even know how to use the washing machine! I know how to fold my clothes, thanks to my friends who gave me a 5-minute course on that on the second day. See how fast i'd mastered the techniques? Ok, so maybe my foldings aren't that nice....
As i'd predicted before joining ns, time FLEW by. 2 weeks. That's all that's left. 2 weeks of baking under the hot sun.Seriously, mirror is my biggest enemy now :P Ns is a mixture of FUN and BOREDOM.It's like, even if we enjoy it, we'd still rather go home. For me,the hardest part is missing. Maybe it is for everyone else as well. Missing school, missing home, missing friends. And missing out on things. This weekend, my friends are still in Miri. The next, they're already off to somewhere.And the bad part? I'm  stuck in ns. Though i know my turn will come, it's still hard not to feel a pang. But whatever.
UPDATES on my experience so far?
M-16. Got 0 mark on that. I won't blame the heavy rain though.I'll save that for my muddy boots.Maybe Kalus is right. I do have a problem with aiming :P that and i got target 6. And that's
hard because there're 10 targets and they didn't bother to label it with numbers.Duhhh. And the ground was wet.
Rafting was fun.We were leading at first.But somehow, we got stucked in the middle of the pond. For like 10 minutes. Kept going left and then right..then left again.Right into the guys' track. I bet we looked funny.But who cares. We had fun and that's what matters.
Then there's jungle trekking.It was slippery.If it hadn't been for my friends, i'd have rolled down the hill :P tripped for like 100 times.Sheesh.They showed us various camps.Like a one-day camp and so on. The one-week camp's so nice! It's like a mini hut. I don't mine having it in the backyard.The return journey was damn embarrasing.Because we had to go through the guy's dorm in order to go back.It was more like walking through a zoo. I didn't know humans could be so SIMILAR to monkeys.
Navigation was walking through bushes. It started from 4 pm and ended at 10 pm. They gave us the bearings and we had to find our way to the checkpoints.The day journey was easy. Very easy in fact. It was cloudy,the ground's dry and we rested plenty.Everyone boasted saying it's too easy..bla bla bla.The night journey was the exact opposite.It was raining, very dark..and they didn't let us rest even for a while. We walked through knee-length puddles.I couldn't tell the difference between the dry and wet grounds since my boots were  full of water,i could breed fish in them.And the bushes were 7 feet tall.Oh yea, our one full bag of food was left untouched. Carrying the bag around was a waste of energy!
I'm beginning to like marching. Before i joined ns, the last time i marched was in form 2. 
Where i'd complained to Rina my legs felt like they're going to fall off. Since then i'd stayed away from marching. But in ns, you don't really have any choice.Just that i sweat a lot during marching, i need 3 packets of tissue :P and oh, i was selected to compete in the marching competition which i think will be held after cny.10 packets of tissue!
Kembara halangan....erks. I'm so not going to enter the competition.I barely got through the monkey bars the other day and i'd fallen in the water for the tarzan thingy TWICE already! I don't mind falling or getting wet.But i DO mind washing my boots :) Guess the lazy me is still the same.
Community service, our group of 88 people went to Taman Seri Puteri last Wednesday.The others went to ATM or Pejabat Pelajaran or the village which i don't know where.I have to admit, i was nervous at first. But hey, there're normal people. If I happen to bump into them in Parkson or wherever, i wouldn't be able to guess from their looks.And they're nice. Gotong-royong in the morning. I think that was the first time i'd really swept the floor. We arrived at the camp at 5 pm.The dorm was so quiet that we thought the others weren't back yet...just to find out most of them were soundly asleep on their beds! Most of them arrived at 1 pm! So not fair!!!