Ice and Lemon

Syafiqah says:
i wonder..lps 5 thn..kta akan kata benda tok lgk..
Syafiqah says:
we will or we won't?
dumplings and pau says:
won't
Syafiqah says:
huhu..sedehnya..
Syafiqah says:
or x sedeh?
dumplings and pau says:
sik

2 words were all it took. And it makes me wonder, why am I always so cold when it comes to stuff like that? How could I be so definite, so sure? But I am.
All my life, I always get what I want. Doesn't matter whether I deserve it or not, I'm used to getting my way. And that's why I'm so stubborn. My word is law xD But then being cold and heartless weren't in the list. I don't know when did I become like that. When I'm cold, well, I don't like it when I am. I become ignorant. I stop caring. I hurt a lot of people in the process. And that's not good.
I am someone who likes to be in control in everything. I'm not a control-freak, I could care less about other things. I believe that my life and everything in it is in my hands. I control who I want to be. I decide who I should like and who I shouldn't. I let my head do most of the jobs instead of my heart. Because I believe, to succeed you must be able to control your emotions. But as I grow up, I find things harder to handle. Some things are just out of our control. And learning that, knowing what I want isn't what it seems to be, is a slap on the face. I told someone once we must always be prepared. Be open and accept all possibilities. So that at the end of the day, we wouldn't get hurt. I was wrong. We wouldn't be hurt that much was the answer. Because no matter what, hurt will always be there. It's not something we could help with.
A question a friend threw at me caught me off guard; what is the connection between what we want and what we fight for? Instantly, the answer came; what we want is what we fight for. But then it strucked me that that wasn't necessarily the case. Not everyone gets the chance to fight for what they want. For those who do, they're blessed. Some people only make it half-way. Yet some make it to the top. Everything, it depends on you. If anyone asked me what I wanted out of life, I wouldn't be able to answer that. Beyond my ambition, I don't know the answer. Life offers so much, yet we get so little. I just know that whatever I'm fighting for, or will fight for, must be what I want. But then fighting without knowing that is like plunging blindly into the sea. Then came the next question; Is what we want is the right thing? What is the right thing? Tricky.