Waves

Could life get worse?
Yea.
So be thankful.
Okay.

Why do I always have to be the one who lets my parents down?
What the heck is wrong with me??!
Apparently, a lot =)
For once. For once. For once.
"For once listen to us."
For once.
Have I not listened in these 17 years?
Not even once?
Not even once.

I'm not using their money. They can stashed it in a cupboard somewhere. It's not something I can live with.

Am I destroying my own future? It looks bleak.

Call me stupid.
Because I am.
I don't want it.
I'm through being a burden.
I'm through being dependent.
I have my own capabilities. They will lead me somewhere.
Even if that somewhere isn't what I want. But it's what I'd worked for. If nothing works, I can quit studying. Get a job as a cashier somewhere and get married within 5 years.
For once, I've a back-up plan. Haha.

I try not to show it.
It's so cold.

I'm heartless.
I don't have any expression.
I don't feel anything.

But I'm a human. I'm just a bloody human.
Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I break down.
Save me. Please.